(971): Yeah. It’s just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
(740): Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
(615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
(716): it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
(305): We have so much sex to catch up on
(860): It just wouldn’t be valentines day if i didn’t invite 90% of the guys i’ve slept with to go to the strip club with me
(631): I will refer to it as the penis of glory… he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
(570): At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
(1-570): I’m not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you’re wondering about for yourself? Because I don’t think you’re there yet.
(873): I’m taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I’m naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can’t come in
(907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone’s bum, he’s not choosy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn’t want to say “drunk at a party on an air mattress” so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it