(610): Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(+44): I’m sorry but that single bed couldn’t hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

(Submitted by jrho, thank you!)

(317): I’m not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say “I want to fuck you.”

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(951): I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney’s sons. The things I would to do them.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(318): would you say our friendship is at the “help each other shave animal patterns in each other’s pubes” phase?

(Submitted by jrho, thank you!)

(603): be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

(Submitted by jrho, thank you!)

(203): Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(865): This is the high leading the old right now

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(614): You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.

Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!

(507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I’m having a lot of problems with right now

(Submitted by jrho, thank you!)

(951): She’s all pretty and bubbly and nice and I’m sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(651): You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)

(502): Let’s get one thing straight; we aren’t in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.

(Submitted by sugar-crash31, thank you!)