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(586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet……

(586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet……

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(541): Happy birthday, you long dick monster

(541): Happy birthday, you long dick monster

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(336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

(336): At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick

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(315): She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

(315): She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

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(845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

(845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

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310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean “I cherish you” I do not want to live there.

310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean “I cherish you” I do not want to live there.

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(586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I’d already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you’re well. Come over soon?

(586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I’d already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you’re well. Come over soon?

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(417): I think I’m too tall to 69 successfully. (1-417):I think I might cry.

(417): I think I’m too tall to 69 successfully.

(1-417):I think I might cry.

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(515): You’re tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

(515): You’re tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.

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(508): It’s not that I’m in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

(508): It’s not that I’m in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

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(256): Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can’t be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter. - jrho

(256):

Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can’t be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.

- jrho

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(703): you don’t understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him. - jrho

(703):

you don’t understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.

- jrho

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(561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

(561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

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(845): Maybe I’ll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow. - jrho

(845):

Maybe I’ll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.

- jrho

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(907): When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I’m not President. - jrho

(907):

When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I’m not President.

- jrho

| 9 notes