PHOTO
(516): Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

(516): Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?

| 8 notes
PHOTO
310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean “I cherish you” I do not want to live there.

310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean “I cherish you” I do not want to live there.

| 7 notes
PHOTO
(425): I’m 50% weirded out and 50% into it

(425): I’m 50% weirded out and 50% into it

| 7 notes
PHOTO
(586): There was no eligible dick at the ER. I’m pissed. Looks like “Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic” is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

(586): There was no eligible dick at the ER. I’m pissed. Looks like “Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic” is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

| 8 notes
PHOTO
(715): If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit’s gonna get real. (1-715): I’ll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

(715):

If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit’s gonna get real.

(1-715):

I’ll set him free tomorrow morning ;)

| 12 notes
PHOTO
(561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

(561): Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.

| 37 notes
PHOTO
(214): I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I’m afraid she’ll ask why and the answer to that will just be “cum.”

(214): I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I’m afraid she’ll ask why and the answer to that will just be “cum.”

| 8 notes
PHOTO
(313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

(313): What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask

| 17 notes
PHOTO
(707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

(707): As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

| 7 notes
PHOTO
I think I submitted the wrong one last time.

I think I submitted the wrong one last time.

| 6 notes
PHOTO
| 2 notes
PHOTO
(415): There’s a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we’ll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

(415): There’s a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we’ll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

| 4 notes
PHOTO
(813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

(813): I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.

| 5 notes
PHOTO
(740): Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.

(740): Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.

| 19 notes
PHOTO
(402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. by sugar-crash31

(402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

by sugar-crash31

| 12 notes