(561): I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point

(907): I’m cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing

(425): I took “we live within stumbling distance of the bar” as an invitation and challenge

(709): He just kept repeating “not with an octopus” over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

(818): Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.

(302): I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment

by sugar-crash31

(602): I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth

by sugar-crash31

(541): Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

(1-541): You’re welcome.

(Submitted by strudel, thank you!)

(651): Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game

(Submitted by Strudel, thank you!)

(208): You do realize there’s a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?

(Submitted by Sugar, thank you!)

(816): I’ve done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It’s getting weird.

(Submitted by Sugar, thank you!)