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(626): It’s like, “you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed.”

(626): It’s like, “you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed.”

| 54 notes
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(845): Maybe I’ll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow. - jrho

(845):

Maybe I’ll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.

- jrho

| 10 notes
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(513): Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you’ve done worse. - jrho

(513):

Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you’ve done worse.

- jrho

| 20 notes
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(408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, “this is my birthday condom.” - jrho

(408):

You came home with a traffic cone and said, “this is my birthday condom.”

- jrho

| 23 notes
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(843): I need to hump something and I know u understand. - jrho

(843):

I need to hump something and I know u understand.

- jrho

| 29 notes
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(206): I’m two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month. - jrho

(206):

I’m two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

- jrho

| 16 notes
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(440): At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like “what about shower sex.” (216): Valid question - jrho

(440):

At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like “what about shower sex.”

(216):

Valid question

- jrho

| 13 notes
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(248): What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence? - jrho

(248):

What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

- jrho

| 21 notes
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(920): Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees. - jrho

(920):

Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.

- jrho

| 9 notes
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(313): Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on -iamhighlyillogical

(313): Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on

-iamhighlyillogical

| 14 notes
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(760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. - jrho

(760):

You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

- jrho

| 9 notes
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(702): Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i’m a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on? - jrho

(702):

Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i’m a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?

- jrho

| 29 notes
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(901): its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages - jrho

(901):

its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages

- jrho

| 12 notes
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(413): This is the point in ur life where u should realize there’s nothing left but a spiral of shame (774): I should but I don’t. All I see is an escalator of success - jrho

(413):

This is the point in ur life where u should realize there’s nothing left but a spiral of shame

(774):

I should but I don’t. All I see is an escalator of success

- jrho

| 14 notes
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(303): Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor - jrho

(303):

Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor

- jrho

| 33 notes